Supporting someone in an abusive relationship
**Supporting Someone in an Abusive Relationship**
If you know someone in an abusive relationship, there are several ways you can offer help and support. Here are some steps you can take:
**1. Schedule a Private Conversation:**
Choose a quiet and private setting where you can talk without interruptions. This creates a comfortable space for an open and honest discussion.
**2. Express Concern:**
Be straightforward about your worries. Share times when you felt concerned for their well-being and help them recognize that their current situation is not healthy. Make it clear that you're genuinely concerned about their safety.
**3. Provide Support:**
Listen actively to their perspective. Discussing abuse can be challenging, so reassure them that you're there for them and that they're not alone in this situation.
**4. Offer Practical Assistance:**
Suggest concrete ways to help, such as providing transportation, looking after their children, accompanying them to appointments, or simply being an attentive listener.
**5. Avoid Blame or Guilt:**
Instead of telling them what to do, express your own fears and worries. Replace statements like "you should leave" with more empathetic expressions like "I'm worried about what might happen to you."
**6. Assist with Safety Planning:**
If necessary, help them create a safety plan. This plan could involve preparing essential items (ID, important documents, money, keys, medications, communication tools), deciding when and where to leave, and understanding how to handle emergencies.
**7. Encourage Professional Help:**
Suggest that they talk to professionals who can assist, such as hotlines, counselors, legal experts, or law enforcement.
**8. Continuous Support if They Choose to Stay:**
Recognize that they might stay in the relationship despite your advice. Offer ongoing support and refrain from judgment, as there could be numerous factors influencing their decisions.
**9. Continue Support if They Decide to Leave:**
If they choose to leave, remain supportive during the transition. Even though the relationship was harmful, ending it can still evoke feelings of sadness and loneliness.
**10. Connect with Community Resources:**
Help them access community resources they might require as they navigate this process. This could involve reaching out to organizations that specialize in assisting abuse survivors.
**11. Understand Your Limitations:**
Remember that you cannot force them to make a decision. Ultimately, they need to decide what's best for them.
**12. Unwavering Support:**
Let them know that your support remains steadfast regardless of their choices. Assure them that you're there for them, no matter what.
If you have questions about how to support an abused friend or family member, you can call our Toll-Free, 24-Hour Hotline at 800-323-HOPE (4673).
