At seventeen my father passed away, at nineteen my mother passed away.
He started locking me in the bathroom for hours beating me while the children were in their rooms,.. two with life-threatening diseases Sickle Cell Anemia..the children could hear everything..
This is BP and I wanted to share my story of domestic violence.
At seventeen my father passed away, at nineteen my mother passed away.
I had to grow up fast and start my life, I was dating my children's father and decided to move in with him.
Everything was great at first, but after about six months things began to change. He started to accuse me of cheating and lying to him, then came the fighting when he started to hit me I fought back at first. If I said anything to him that he didn't like he would hit me, bite me, verbally abuse me. I truly thought I was in love.
I then became pregnant with our first child and things got better, but by the time our second child was born it was happening all over again. When I had my last child it was at the worst it had ever been!!
He started locking me in the bathroom for hours beating me while the children were in their rooms and was told by their father not to come out and they hadn't eaten all day. I begged and pleaded with him to let them eat and let me out of the bathroom because the children can hear everything that's going on.
I tried to run out the front door one time and he gave be a black eye and a blood vessel in my left eye burst, I had to go to work like that. And I still stayed, he ran over my foot with the car, hit me in front of the kids. I had nowhere to go or anyone to turn to I thought. And through all of this my two younger children were(are) dealing with Sickle Cell Anemia.
My breaking point was when we were staying with a family member of his and he was beating me and she didn't say a word, she walked past us went to her room and closed the door. I fought to get my kids and left and didn't look back. It was very tough having three small kids trying to raise them alone.
And it got worse, my daughter and son both started to have pain crisis and at one point they both had pneumonia at the same time!! It was rough I had to go back and forth from each room cause they both wanted me and cried out. It was heart wrenching, but as a mother you have to endure a lot pain and sleepless nights and I did and do now.
But I am thankful that I was strong enough to get my children and myself out of that situation. They deserved better and I know how it feels to see your mother get beat on. I was a child in the middle of domestic violence. Thank you for your time.
My name is ST. I am blessed with three beautiful children, and also expecting a baby boy in December, sometime around Christmas. Unfortunately I am a victim of Domestic Violence. I was going to write everything that happened to me, but that would maybe be a whole book to write, so I'm deciding to tell you the breaking point in my life where I decided enough was enough. Well before enough was enough I had been in a mental rehab at least six times due to the mental abuse my husband DT has caused me. I am now diagnosed with depression, but with the faith I have with God, He wakes me up each day and helps me through with the anxiety and depression, caused by domestic violence even at my young age.
God has blessed me with the children that I have something to live for.
Donate to help ST and her children this holiday Season
It’s sometimes strange how life’s struggles often bring you to a place of strength, hope and determination. The funniest part is when you realize that the strength, hope and determination were there all the time they’d just never had the opportunity to shine.
I was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan where like most large urban cities life is what you make it. My mother was a single parent and I her only child. I remember my Mom graduating from Nursing school as a Registered Nurse I was proud of her even then. My Mom was the best and she gave me the best I never knew a day of lack. All I knew is that I wanted to be strong like my Mommy because I adored her.
July 2002 I was engaged and had just found out that I was pregnant for the first time ever. We were happy we’d planned this so it was a really exciting time for me and Terry (my fiancée). I was about to have a family of my own.
My fiancé was a very intelligent, handsome, strong man. He worked two jobs and was a real stand up guy. Terry relocated from Memphis, TN about a year prior to our engagement.
I loved him and I loved the thought of carrying this mans child. I was 5 weeks pregnant when I found out and all was well.
Suddenly things changed when I was in my 7th week Terry began to act differently he would rant and rave constantly. We would argue for hours on end. The love I once saw in his eyes wasn’t there anymore but a blank, empty look made me nervous and defensive. As the days and weeks passed women would call our house, he would stay out all night. I was stressed and decided I would not allow such disrespect, I made him leave.
While in my 9th week of pregnancy I miscarried it was one of the most heartbreaking things I’d ever experienced.
Maybe I was angry or depressed but I no longer felt the need to continue our soured relationship. So I let it go. Unfortunately he didn’t.
My life became something from a Lifetime channel movie. Terry began to do crazy things call me 25 -30 times a day stand on my front porch at 3:00 in the morning yelling “Let me in, I know you’re in there, why won’t you give me another chance, I should burn this house down while you’re in it” Just crazy things he would leave lingerie on my door send dozens of roses to my job then call on the phone and say things like “If you keep rejecting me I’m going to kill you” he would tap on my bedroom window at all hours of the night it was just unimaginable. These things happened literally every single day. It was crazy.
One December morning I was going to work, before I left I did my usual look around before closing my front door (due to the fact that Terry cornered me that way before) I closed the door and proceeded down the porch steps when suddenly Terry jumps from the side of my house stood in front of me with a knife to my throat, he spoke softly and said “Hey baby, you look nice this morning but do you realize that I could cut your throat right now and you would die right here, do you realize that?” I was in shock seeing him and hearing him do and say these things just crushed me. I did however realize that I could not let him see fear in me or else he would have completely dominated the situation. I then without thought or mental planning suddenly became offended and angry and I felt strong, I was determined that I would get out of this situation safely.
I responded by looking him in the eye and saying “I cannot believe you would dare come to me like this Terry, you owe me more, but if you came here to kill me then do it, If not move because I am not going to be late for work because of you!” He grabbed my arm pulling back toward the house and said “C’mon open the door we are going in side so I can do what I want with you.” I snatched away from him and said “I told you before you are no longer welcome in my house, do whatever you need to do right here.” I then stepped past him and calmly walked to my car. I got in and closed the door, he tapped on my window with the knife saying “I’m letting you get away this time, but next time there won’t be a warning”
(Don’t get me wrong my responses were not necessarily smart but it was unscripted it was me raw, I didn’t know I had that in me.) I pulled off and by the time I reached Interstate 75 the reality of what had just happened hit me like a ton of bricks, I had to pull to the shoulder and I couldn’t stop crying and shaking.
The next day I went to the county and got a Restraining Order (that Terry constantly ignored) I also met with Detroit’s District Attorney to press charges. There was an immediate warrant out for his arrest the charges were Aggravated Stalking and Felonious Assault. That same evening I packed several of my belongings and went to stay with my best friend and her son.
Terry didn’t know where she lived so this was a good means to clear my head and get some much needed rest.
I spent Christmas away from home but on New Years Eve I went to church, and I prayed with every thing in me that God would move on my behalf. I only knew that if God didn’t something horrific would happen because I was at the end of my rope.
That night after church service I went home, no more running, no more fear I prayed and I had to trust that God would answer my cry.
New Years Day 2003 he was captured just down the street from my home. They took him to the local precinct; once there they searched further they found a box cutter then eventually found a single bullet. The arresting officer came back to where they’d picked him up and searched the area and found a gun in some bushes.
Three months later I moved to Georgia. I found out about WADT and all the awesome things the program does in the community and specifically for women of color. I wanted so much to experience “Women Are Dreamers Too” because when I moved here I began to dream bigger, to aim higher and to set goals that I knew I had to accomplish. I just didn’t know exactly how to put the wheels in motion. Now because of Dr. Cindy William and WADT I am well on my way Coney Café will be up and running by the 2nd quarter of 2007. I am so blessed and so grateful to have been chosen to be apart of such an amazing group of women who have all experienced life’s hiccups but through it all we know that it’s the dreams the strength, the hope and determination that’s within us that makes us know that troubles don’t last always.
HI I KNOW IT SAY FOR VICTIMS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DOES MY CHILD QUALIFY SHE HAS BEEN RAPED TWICE SO IF THAT DON’T QUALIFY JUST HELP HER TO MAKE HER FEEL SPECIAL HER NAME IS (Nora -not her real name) SHE IS 12 AND I WILL FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO GET HELP FOR MY OTHER THREE KIDS MY NAMES IS (Suzie (not her real name) )M Y THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS
I JUST A CALL FROM Y’ALL SAYING YOU WANTING TO NO MORE ABOUT WHAT HAPPEN TO MY DAUGHTER. WELL I WILL START FROM THE BEGINNING WHEN SHE WAS FOUR YEAR SHE WAS RAPED BY MY STEPBROTHER AND THEY GAVE HIM 15 YEARS IN PRISON AND IT MADE HER SHUT DOWN SHE HAD TO LEARN HER NAME, ABC, AND NUMBER ALL OVER AGAIN SHE WAS VERY SMART SHE BEFORE THIS HAPPEN. AND THEN SIX YEARS LATER SHE WAS RAPED AGAIN WHEN WE TO MISSISSIPPI FOR A FAMILY REUNION THE PERSON WHO DID THIS WE DIDN’T KNOW BE HE WAS 17 AND THEY LOCK HIM UP AND LET OUT IN NINE MONTHS I WAS SO ANGRY.
MY DAUGHTER FEEL UNHAPPY AT HOME SHE FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING JUST HAPPEN TO HER AND NOTHING HAPPEN TO THE OTHER KIDS SHE IS REAL SMART HAS 5 A’S 2 B ON HER PROGRESS REPORT. I HATE WHAT HAPPEN TO HER SHE HAS SO MUCH ANGRY INSIDE HER AND SHE TAKE IT ON HER SIBLING LIKE IT THEIR FAULT. THAT WHY I WANTED YALL TO DO SOMETHING FOR HER MAYBE THAT WILL MAKE HER FEEL SPECIAL. IF YOU ANYTHING ELSE PLEASE CALL ME
THE STORY OF MY LIFE AND THE LIFE OF MY CHILDREN. I WAS 19 WHEN I HAD MY FIRST CHILD IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL I WAS SO HAPPY TO BE A MOTHER TO HER, AND 18 MONTHS LATER I HAD A SET OF TWINS BOYS THAT WAS A BIG CHALLENGE FOR ME BUT I STILL LOVE THEM A YEAR LATER I HAD ANOTHER DAUGTHER IT MADE OUR FAMILY COMPLETE. WE LIVE IN CENTRVILLE MS FROM 1999 UNTIL 2005. IT WAS VERY HARD TO BE A SINGLE PARENT OF FOUR KIDS, BUT I ENJOYED WATCHING MY KIDS GROWING UP. UNTIL MY OLDEST WAS RAPED AT FOUR THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING FOR US THEN CAUSE I HAD WENT TO WORK AND HAD MY DAD WATCHING MY KIDS WHY I WAS AT WORK THINKING NOTHING COULD HAPPEN TO THEM MY DAD WATCHING THEM. WAS I SO WRONG IT MADE THING HARDER TO TRUST ANYONE AROUND MY KIDS IF MY STEPBROTHER CAN DO SOMETHING LIKE TO MY CHILD ANYONE CAN. THE BAD PART ABOUT IT IS HE TOLD HER HE GOING TO KILLED HER IF SHE TOLD ANYONE MY NEICE TOLD ME WHAT HAPPEN AND I ASKED HER SHE SAID NOTHING HAPPEN TO HER I HAD TO TELL HER SHE WAS GOINGTO GET A WHOOPING FOR HER TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPEN ALL I COULD WAS SCREAM. THEN WHEN THEY ARREST HIM AND HIM WHY HE TOLD THE POLICE CAUSE SHE WAS BEING NOSEY. SINCE THEN WE HAVE NEVER HAD THE SAME ADDRESS FOR OVER 12 MONTHS I THINK I AM TO AFRAID SOMETHING ELSE MAY HAPPEN TO MY KIDS. AND SOMETHING DID WE HAVE TO VISITED FOR THE FAMILY REUNION SHE GET RAPED AGAIN AT 10 IN LIBERTY MISSISSIPPI AND THEY ONLY LOCKED HIM UP FOR NINE MONTHS I’M LIKED WHAT HAVE I DONE FOR THIS TO KEEP HAPPEN TO MY FAMILY MY PRAY I CRY ABOUT IT.
I JUST WISH I KNEW A PLACE WHERE I COULD KEEP MY KIDS SAFE I AM SCARED TO LET THEM WALK DOWN THE STREET I AM SO STRESS OUT SOMETIME I DON’T KNOW WHAT DO. I TALKED TO DAUGHTER EVERYDAY TRYING TO CONVINCE HER IT WAS NOT HER FAULT. I ASKED HER THE OTHER DAY WHAT SHE WANTED TO BE WHEN SHE GROW UP SHE SAY SHE WANTED TO BE A POLICE TO MAKE SURE BAD GO TO JAIL AND STAY THERE. AND SHE ALSO WANTED TO BE ACTOR AND A DANCER SHE LOVE MUSIC. MY ASKED ME IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM THE WORLD WITH ALL THE MOVING I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT IS REASON I JUST HAVING NOT FOUND A PLACE THAT I FEEL SAFE FOR MY KIDS. I WISH I HAD JOB TO TAKE CARE OF KIDS I HATE TELLING THEM MAMA CAN’T BUY IT.
EVERYTIME YOU LOOK AROUND SOMETHING IS GOING WRONG FOR US I WAS ABLE TOO TAKE THEM WHERE NOT NOW IT COST TOO MUCH ESPECIALLY AFTER THE MOTHER WENT OUT IN OUR CAR AND I HAD GET RID OF IT. LIFE REALLY NEED TO GET BETTER FOR OUR FAMILY.I NEED HELP FINDING COUNSL OR A MENTOR FOR MY DAUGHTER SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME TRYING TO CONVINCE HER IT NOT HER FAULT. MY DREAM IS TO FIND A PLACE IN THIS WORLD THAT WILL BE SAFE FOR OUR FAMILY AND JOB SO I CAN REALLY TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY SO WHEN THEY ASKED FOR SOMETHING IN THE FUTURE IT CAN YES AND NOT NO CAUSE I HAVE TO PAY THE BILLS WITH IT. I THINK IF WE COULD LIVE WITH OUT LIGHTS I WOULD BUY MY KIDS WHAT THEY WANT JUST TO SEE THAT BIG KOOLAID SMILE THEY HAVE. I NOT WORRY ABOUT NO ONE HELPING ME WITH NOTHING YOU HELP MY KIDS YOU IS HELPING ME. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.