"He told me that if I took his kids again that he would kill me. He has told me over and over again during our marriage about the people that he has killed and gotten away with itI believed him"

 

My name is KM and I have 4 children by my husband. We have 2 sons and 2 daughters . I am a domestic violence survivor. This is my story. I hadn’t lived with him since 2006 and he asked if I would give him another chance and in 2013, I let him move in. My husband and I went over to a friend’s house Summer of 2014. We watched fireworks, ate good food, and had a few drinks. My friend and her boyfriend got into a nasty argument and we left. My husband kept saying how I could never talk to him that way and that the only reason I haven’t been beaten up yet is because he won’t give his sisters the go ahead to jump me like they want to. The more I said I haven’t done anything wrong, the madder he got. He kept talking about how he wouldn’t be disrespected like that by me and how he would handle me if I talked to him like that over and over again. He kept me in the car yelling like that for almost an hour. I was so scared finally I just had to get out and he got even madder because he said I turned my back on him.

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I went in the house and downstairs to my bedroom. I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed and he followed me in there. He trapped me at the sink by putting his hand on the wall behind me and behind me on the sink where I was standing. He continued to yell at me and talk about what he wasn’t going to allow from me. At this point, I just didn’t say anything because he just kept getting angrier and angrier. I have a back injury and I am on disability. I had to beg him to let me go to bed because I was hurting so bad from being forced to stand for so long.

He was all in my face, but he finally let me go to bed. It didn’t stop there. He continued to talk and curse.   He kept pacing and walking to the closet that had his gun and knives. I was so scared at this point that I got out of bed and tried to run upstairs. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled me back down and on the floor. I started to scream because he was hurting me and our kids were upstairs and I wanted them to get help.

He told me that if I didn’t shut up that he would hurt them if they came down and saw what he was doing to me. He picked me up off the floor and threw me up against the wall and broke my glasses and pounded my head against the wall. Then he threw me back on the floor, he put his knee in my chest with all of his almost 300 pounds. He put his arm to my throat and was choking me. When I would almost pass out, he would raise his forearm off of my neck. I was begging for my life, promising to be good, and saying any and everything I could think of to not die that night.

He then put both of his hands around my neck choking me until I almost passed out over and over. He told me that night that if I called the cops that he would have a shoot-out with them and then kill me and then kill himself. When I caught my breath again, I went back to begging. He worked me over so bad that night I couldn’t eat or drink for weeks. It took me 2 whole days to eat a cup of yogurt and all I could do was sip water. I couldn’t talk for weeks and my chest hurt so bad from where he had his knee that I couldn’t stand to wear clothes that came anywhere near my chest.

I couldn’t even hug my kids. He kept me prisoner in a room with a bathroom for over a month. Every day he would tell me all day long that if I had him arrested again that he would kill me or have his family kill me or some of his friends he met in prison kill me. He would make me sleep in bed with him at night because he said the voices in his head were telling him that I was plotting on him. I was scared every day and every night. He wouldn’t let me near a phone because he didn’t want me getting help and he said he didn’t want me recording the threats. I was so scared I didn’t know what to do.

He wouldn’t let me leave the house and I was scared he would hurt my mother like he threatened if I called the police. He told me that if I took his kids again that he would kill me. He has told me over and over again during our marriage about the people that he has killed and gotten away with it and his family has told that he has too. So I believed him when he said that he is a killer and would kill me and my family. I asked him to leave and he said he would not leave without taking my boys with him. When I got my cellphone back, I called the domestic violence hotline. They didn’t have any beds anywhere for me and my children.

My church couldn’t even help find us shelter. Finally on August 8, 2014, a shelter had a bed. I snuck our things out in the middle of the night and I picked my kids up that day from school. I was working so hard to get somewhere safe for me that I forgot that August 8th is my son’s birthday. Now he hates his birthday. It was the first day we had to live in a shelter. Now we live in a house and they have lots of friends again. We don’t have a lot of things, but we are alive and healthy. I am a domestic violence survivor.

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