I don't know where to begin there are so many components to my story. My entire life to me as I can remember have been numb until 2006. I am very sad and teary eyed as I reach inside where I buried the person that was molested since the age of 5 years old. Growing up that affected my learning abilities.
I had soooooooo many insecurities. My mother would often say that I didn't like to play with the other kids. I withdrew from them because my innocence had been taken away from me at a very young age. I never had a father figure in my life, because my father was murdered when I was 7 years old.
My mother married twice after my father's death, but they were a joke! I searched for love in the wrong type of men. I did not attend college after I graduated from high school, because I had already started dating the wrong type of guys. I gave birth to my son at the age of 19
years old. One year later his father was sentenced to 30 years in prison.
I do not even recall being sad when he was sentenced. I allowed that man to put me through pure hell. I was 19 years old being, physically, verbally, and emotionally abused. I can recall on my son's 1st birthday my mom had to force me to comb my hair, get dressed, and try to smile.(I hate to revisit that part of my life).
I visited Atlanta once in 1996 and I said to myself I am moving there. I saw many black people having things. I am from Mobile, Al where it
is very oppressed. I had no dreams and no goals. I moved to Atlanta in 1997 and left my apartment full of furniture and slept on my friend's
mother floor for 6 months, until I was able to get an apartment. Doc when I moved here I had bullshit on my mind. The little girl
that had been molested since the age of 5 years old, no father figure in her life, a year out of a abusive relationship and a 2 year
old son. I didn't know what to do.
I became a teacher at the daycare where my son attended. I was even his teacher. I had no vehicle and no money. I would go to the bus stop not even having money to get on the bus, but god would always and I mean always make a way.
October 31, 1997 my oldest brother was murdered in Mobile, Al at the age of 25 years old. I began to
feel more numb. I can't explain how I felt, because I had no feelings. I cried a whole lot because we were so very close.
In 1998 I was blessed to be apart of the PIC program. I went to medical assistant school and became a medical assistant. I
was able to have consistent employment and income for my son and I. Even though I had a career in the medical field, I continued
to carry my childhood memories, insecurities, and low self-esteem with me. On September 4, 2002 the guy that I would see off/on
asked me to move in with him.
I was soooo happy that he thought enough of me to ask me to move in with him. This was a guy that
I thought had it all together. He owned his own home, he was tall, dressed nice, very handsome, and he wanted me. WRONG, WRONG,
WRONG!!!! Shortly after I moved in I found out the financial disaster that he was in. His home was in foreclosure, facing prison time, and I could go on.
The first year we were together I helped him get his home out of foreclosure, helped raise his son, and helped him get
his clothing store started. That relationship landed me in the hospital. I started having seizures, heart palpitation, and severely
depressed. I left that relationship Dec1, 2005 with nothing, but the clothes that my son and I owned. I repeated what I had gone through
when I first came to Atlanta. This time I got an apartment right away, I went back to the medical field, and I was able to get transportation.
Now I'm working on furnishing our apartment. He sleeps on one couch and I sleep on the other.
I tell myself daily it wont be like this forever. January 2006 I vowed to start my life over again. I read my bible daily. I have made new choices by
loving myself, forgiving myself, forgiving any and everyone that has ever done anything to hurt me, loving my son(he is
a great son, god could have not blessed me with a better child) grow spiritually, intellectually, and start my own business. It took
me up until 2006 to realize that I am responsible for my destiny in this life hear on earth. DOC, you and WADT is confirmation
from god. He has told me that I am free from all those horrific experiences from my past.
I would like to take this time to tell you a little about my son. He is a 12 y/o 5'8 180lb male. He is in love with Football becoming
a chef and owning his own restaurants while in the NFL and being an alumni from Auburn University.
Those are the few dreams that he has. He does play football and enjoys watching it on TV. He goes
as far as researching to see who and where it started. He also loves to cook and enjoys watching the food network channel.
My son is the love of my life and tries so hard to take care of his mom. He is very supportive of me attending WADT and
starting my own business. I want to lead by example in raising my son. I started later than I should have, but I GET IT NOW.
PS: I would like for you to know that I love you and I respect you like my mother, because she birth me. You ARE a beacon
of light, hope, and encouragement in my soul. The compliment that you give me about my appearance is something that I have never
received from my mother and want to tell you that I THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU.
Thanks to WaDt for the Football tickets wish, my son and I had fun, a huge thank you to Verizon for awarding the wish.
Respectfully, NE - 10/29/2006
If you are in an abusive relationship, pls get help!